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Suddenly Memories: ErokDragun By Dac
The wood panelling nearly shattered as he slammed into it. He shoved his attacker off him furiously and stared him down, resisting the urge to ignite his fists. He did not fight back, however, only calmly shielding himself as the bellowing, furious man before him spewed bile at him. Erok barely took in anything, letting it all bounce right off him. Of the others, only Foolsfolly and Film Geek had the spines to stay in the room, he noticed, keeping Baraxis held between the pair of them. The rest had retreated, leaving him at the mercy of the furious Jedipoet. “You didn’t even leave the poor bastard a chance, did you?!” snarled Jedi. “You just cooked him right in his skin! There was nothing but ash left of him! You couldn’t have made it any worse!” Erok rolled his eyes and said nothing, indifferent to the whole thing. He’d known this would happen, and it hadn’t bothered him when he’d first realised it. The latest battle had been one of the most vicious yet, leaving four Guardsmen dead and one Family member along with them, while the rest of the Family had fled into the tunnels beneath the city before the Guardsmen could pick themselves up from their loss. Cabosefan had taken down Powerbomb, Elite and Marksman in his suicidal blaze of glory, but the only other member to notch up a confirmed kill was Erok himself. For the last four days the Family had regathered in their hiding place, and Jedi had only just emerged with Tack and Spartan, the last ones to arrive. Rather than rest, he’d gone straight for Erok. He was waving his hand in front of Erok’s face, his fury only just held in check. Fools tensed every time Jedi made a sudden move, preparing to jump between them in case the two came to blows. Erok was silently grateful for his presence; Fools, at least, understood what Erok had done and gotten over it, even if none of the others did. “You awake, asshole?” demanded Jedi. “Do you fucking hear me?” “Yeah, I hear you,” said Erok, walking over to a chair as calmly as he could. “I’ve heard it all before. You’re just repeating what you said after we cut Ragin’s throat. At least this time I was thorough.” Jedi threw his arms into the air in disgust. “Oh, good,” he cried sardonically. “You were thorough. I’ll sleep a lot easier knowing you were thorough.” “Why do we keep having this conversation?” asked Erok. “Doom was trying to kill us. All the Guardsmen were. Ever since the Hero Destruction Ministry closed down and the Guardsmen came up out of the ashes, that’s all they’ve been trying to do. That’s all they were created to do. They are a squad designed for the sole purpose of killing us. What did you want me to do, singe his eyebrows off?” Jedi sat across from him. He looked darkly at Fools and Geek and Baraxis, waiting nearby. Baraxis looked more shaken by Jedi and Erok’s furious argument than he had in the heat of battle, when he’d dropped to Erok’s aid and distracted Doom long enough for Erok to immolate him. Fools was wary, but everyone knew he had Erok’s back. Geek was unreadable, standing straight, still and silent. His face gave nothing away. Jedi looked back at Erok, unflappable as always. “It’s not the first time we’ve killed to survive,” said Erok flatly. “It won’t be the last. We’ve all killed. All of us. Even you. Why do you always make a big thing of it when I kill someone?” Jedi glared at him. For a long time he struggled to make the words come, until eventually he waved the other three out of the room. Baraxis quickly stepped outside, with Geek right behind him. Fools paused reluctantly and shook his head at Jedi. “It had to be,” he said. “Get out,” replied Jedi. Fools stepped out and around the corner. After a moment the door pushed shut. Jedi turned back to Erok and opened his mouth to speak, when he hesitated. Erok blinked, confused, but without saying anything Jedi stood up and moved over to the door. In a flash his hand whipped up and seized something in the air. There was a strangled cry as Fools became visible, Jedi’s hand around his throat. “I said out!” snapped Jedi, opening the door and shoving Fools into the corridor. Slamming it shut before the one-eyed man could walk back in, he stormed over to the table and sat down again, staring at Erok calculatingly. Erok held his gaze. “We’re just chasing our tails,” said Erok. “We’ve had this conversation before.” “Yeah,” growled Jedi. “I don’t get why we have to have it again.” “I do. You’re having a crisis of conscience again.” Jedi spat bitterly. “The fuck does that mean?” Erok leaned forward on his elbows, his face grave. He knew Jedi hated that expression, but angry as he was, there wasn’t much Jedi liked about him at the moment. It would pass, eventually. “I mean you’re beating yourself up because we lost a man, and you need someone to take it out on,” he said. “Cabose died. I’m sorry about that too. But you, every time we lose someone you make it your fault, and then you need something to lash out at, so you bring up the ‘no killing’ thing. When Syrix was captured, when Puma was killed, when Drums got taken, even Qwirtle and Ren and Jonix. All of them, you make it your fault. If it was me that got killed and Cabose lived, you’d have him in here now for taking out the other three guys. Every time we lose someone, you feel like you led them to their death, and then you need to find a target you can take it out on, which usually winds up being me.” Jedi rolled his eyes. “I was waiting for the part where I always pick on you. Maybe if you didn’t argue with every damn thing I say I wouldn’t have to.” “Everything you say?” echoed Erok with a mirthless laugh. “Not everything. I have your back more than I argue with you, but you never seem to remember that.” “Bullshit,” grunted Jedi. “This isn’t about that anyway. This is about you killing Doom.” “Did you listen to anything I just said?” demanded Erok. “You fucking killed the guy. Don’t try and avoid that with bullshit about me feeling guilty.” “I’m gonna take that as a no...” “Shut up!” snarled Jedi, pounding on the table with his fist. “It’s not about me! It’s not about Cabose, or Puma, or any of the others! It’s not even about Doom or the Guardsmen, it’s about you!” Erok’s eyes narrowed. It was his turn to be harshly bewildered, apparently. “What the hell are you talking about?” Jedi leaned forward, in a cold imitation of Erok’s severe lecturing pose. “I mean I’m worried about you,” he said. “So are the others, but they’re all afraid of you so they’ll never say it. You tried to kill Ragin, you nearly killed Final, you killed Doom...everyone’s worried, Erok. Yeah, we all kill. We know that, and it doesn’t get any easier. But you...you never seem bothered about it. What’s that boring cliché, the one about blood being on our hands? Everyone thinks you don’t care.” For the first time in months, Erok found himself speechless. He managed to keep his jaw from dropping, but only just. It was a struggle. His face must have responded somehow, though; Jedi seized upon some tiny motion and sat back, triumphant without smugness or joy. For a moment Erok had to struggle to think of a response, but once he started he could barely hold his voice back. “You think I’m going to become a killer?” he said. “A murderer? Is that seriously what you believe? Tell me straight. If that’s what you think, say it.” Jedi sat there, his victory not draining his words as he spoke slowly but without reluctance. “Some of the guys have wondered,” he said simply. Erok snorted and stood up. “Bullshit. You’re all smarter than that,” he said as he moved towards the door. “I’m not proud of what I do, but at the end of the day I’d rather their blood on my hands than yours.” He opened the door and stepped outside. Jedi rose angrily behind him. “I’m not done with-” “Yes, you are,” said Erok, turning to scowl at him. “I’m not going to be lectured. I kill people. I know that. But I’m not a killer. Not in the way you all seem to think.” He stormed down the corridor, leaving Jedi to fume in the small room. He walked briskly past Geek and Baraxis, who stared as he went past, but halted when he reached Fools, standing calmly in the doorway. He stared at the flat, emotionless black eyepatch his friend wore, as though daring it to say something. “You think I’m a killer?” he asked softly, so softly only Fools could hear. Fools shrugged calmly, his expression casual and evasive. “We’re all only human,” he responded. Erok grunted. “Some of us forget that.” He looked around to make sure the street held no immediate threat and stepped outside. The sky overhead was overcast and dull, and he could hear the distant sound of bulldozers clearing the wreckage of their battle. Otherwise, the city was quiet, devoid of life since only the worst of procrastinators had not evacuated yet. Erok moved nimbly into the street and away from his friends, cursing under his breath.
***
Several hours of wandering around didn’t improve his mood. He slinked from shadow to shadow, avoiding any sounds of life. While the hero hunters were preoccupied with convincing remaining civilians to evacuate, if he was recognised he’d have a fight on his hands. As much as he would have liked to hit something, he kept himself in check. If there was a fight, the others might catch up. He had no doubt Jedi had sent someone after him, to keep an eye on him. Fools, most likely, as punishment for attempting to eavesdrop, or perhaps Baraxis or Tack. It wouldn’t have surprised Erok to see Jedi drifting above him, and every so often he looked around him and upwards in case the telekinetic man was floating nearby, but there was no sign of him. He was, for the minute at least, alone. His mind was awash with cold fury, and for the longest time he barely focused on where he was going. He stayed away from the site of the battle subconsciously, unwilling to bring the full weight of the Guardsmen down on top of him, but otherwise he simply wandered. It took a moment for him to realise he was right in the heart of the city, near the business district. The Guardsmen’s tower wasn’t far, but for the moment at least it was obscured by banks, hotels and department stores. Since there was no residential area nearby, he knew that the only people around would be Guardsmen or hero hunters, so he watched his step. Looking around just in case Jedi or Geek or someone else was flying overhead, movement caught his eye. The building was an office block, about forty stories tall, on the edge of the district. It was about two blocks away from Erok, but he could easily see it over the smaller buildings. He squinted at the higher floors, trying to see more movement. For a brief while, he suspected he’d just imagined it, until more movement caught his eye on the street. He didn’t move as a hero hunter patrol stalked into view. He stood there watching them warily. They didn’t notice him; they, too, were staring up at the office building, and one of them pointed openly. They crossed the intersection and walked around the corner, out of sight. Slowly, Erok began to creep forward, steadily getting faster until he was running up the street. When he reached the corner he peered around it cautiously. The patrol was moving slower than he was, not far up the street. Keeping to the shadows as the sun began its descent into dusk, he sneaked up behind them and listened to the chatter. “-fifty-fourth floor,” the leader said. “Just another runaway.” “Has anyone else noticed that we’re steadily becoming babysitters?” complained another. “All we’re doing at the moment is chasing after the reluctant evacuees.” “Well, with any luck, this one will be a smear on the sidewalk by the time we get there,” sneered a third, eliciting a snigger from all except the leader, who glared at them. “Enough,” he snapped. “If you guys want some excitement I’ll get us all transferred to clean-up over at ground zero. Maybe you’ll dig up a Guardsman corpse or something, how does that sound?” The others fell silent. Erok couldn’t see their faces, but they seemed to be abashed. The leader kept scowling at them. “You have a job, do it without bitching. You want to bitch, then fucking quit, how does that...” Erok didn’t even need to hear his voice trailing off to know what had happened. The look on his face said it all. He’d spotted him. Thinking quickly, he leapt out from behind cover and propelled himself forward, crash-landing on the leader before he had a chance to react. He kneed the man in the face and the leader went limp. By then the other hunters had gotten over their shock and drawn their weapons, but Erok dived off the man and hurled a fireballs at their heads. The blast were barely enough to leave a scar, but they glanced off the standard issue radios the hunters were equipped with, leaving them all sputtering. The hunters mostly swore, except for one who gave a yelp, as they ripped the headpieces off. Erok was already running as they did, sprinting for an alleyway just up the street. The hunters ran after him, shouting, but as the first ran around the corner he was clotheslined by an outstretched arm. With a gurgle, he fell to the ground, and the others jumped over his limp form. Light flared up next to them as Erok’s hands burst into flame. The three hunters hesitated, and in that moment Erok jumped on them, tackling the nearest one to the ground. Caught offguard, the man’s head struck a brick as he fell and he slumped unconsciously. A stream of fire ignited the second one’s shirt as the first fell, and he rolled on the ground anxiously, trying to extinguish the flames. The third kept his head and jammed his gun into Erok’s chest. The alleyway seemed to still as Erok stared up at the hunter, who glowered back. “Nice try, hero,” he said. “You move and I’ll blow a hole out of your back.” “Get on with it,” said Erok flatly. “Don’t think so,” replied the hunter. “Leader wants you. Preferably alive, but not essentially. So here’s what’s gonna happen. As soon as my partner there puts himself out, he’s gonna cuff you, and we’ll all walk over to the Guardsmen HQ and drop you off. How does that sound?” Erok rolled his eyes. “I think your gun just melted.” “Huh?” The barrel of the gun was glowing red hot; Erok knew the hunter’s hands had to be sweating inside their insulated gloves. A blob of molten metal dropped off the barrel and fell downwards. The hunter stared mutely at it while Erok allowed himself to smirk. “Sorry.” He punched the man right in the eye. The hunter spun and fell next to his partner, who had just gotten the flames under control, only to find a hand around his neck pulling him up and slamming him into a wall. Erok suppressed a chuckle; it was only a few hours ago Jedi had done that to him. The hunter was terrified, but with his unprotected neck sporting second-degree burns under Erok’s fingers, he was too wracked with pain to fight back. He hung limply, staring wide-eyed at Erok, who debated roasting the man on the spot. “What’s in the office building that you’re all so interested in?” he demanded. “Just a civilian!” cried the hunter. “We were just moving in to get rid of a civilian! That’s all!” “Why?” roared Erok, the flames on his other fist blazing brighter. “What’s with the evacuation? What’s the Leader up to?” “I don’t know!” howled the hunter. “It’s not our division! We were assigned to moving civilians out! All of the patrols have been retasked, but we don’t know what all the other divisions are up to! We’re kept separated!” Erok glared furiously at the hunter, who squealed something that only vaguely resembled language before he fainted in Erok’s grip. Irritated, Erok tossed him away, cursing again. He stormed out of the alleyway, the flames dying down as he walked, and as he exited he coldly checked to make sure they were all still alive. He looked around to make sure no other troops were approaching in the wake of the commotion. There seemed to be something happening on the other side of the city, some series of bright lightning flashes, which Erok could only assume was DarthJ3sus performing some mundane duty or other, but aside from that he could see no movement. He’d almost forgotten why he had followed the patrol to begin with when he glanced up and saw the office block again. He frowned as he stared up at it. Another patrol would follow this one, he knew that. One way or another they’d come to collect whoever was up there. Erok didn’t know what happened to the people who didn’t evacuate, but he didn’t want to leave it to chance that Data might be turning the stragglers over Celtic. He looked around and spotted the patrol leader’s unconscious body. A pair of binoculars were strapped to the man’s belt. Erok jogged over and pulled them off, looking up at the office. One of the windows on the top floor was open, and someone was crawling out of them. Erok remembered what the hunter had said before the patrol leader had spotted him. “Oh, shit,” he muttered. Foregoing subtlety, he launched himself off the ground and flew up towards the open window. He pushed himself, closing the distance rapidly, until he was hovering next to the window, looking down at the figure on the ledge. He struggled to control his expression. It was a young girl, about 13 or 14, staring at him with wide brown eyes. She seemed just as dumbfounded as he was, but in the back of his mind he noted she’d just seen a man on fire coming flying off the street towards her. She had a right to be confused. He slowly drifted towards her, but she scrambled to one side, her feet nearly slipping on the ledge. He stopped in midair, and instead drifted to the side, landing about five feet away on the ledge. He didn’t take his eyes off her. “Hi there,” he said. She stared back at him silently. There was something about her eyes, some recognition in them which sent a chill up Erok’s spine. Something dark was in her. “You shouldn’t be up here,” he urged, as gently as he could. “It’s dangerous.” Still she said nothing. She simply watched him, her eyes narrowing very slightly. Erok felt the chill again, wondering what it was about him that she recognised. “My name is Erok,” he said, trying a new tack. “What’s yours?” The silence was just as prolonged. Erok held back a sigh, wondering if the girl was traumatised or something, when abruptly she spoke in a thin voice. “I didn’t know you all had names,” she said quietly. Erok blinked. For the briefest of moments he hesitated, but he quickly spoke up again. “Of course we do,” he said. “Everyone has a name.” “I don’t,” hissed the girl savagely. Erok paused. She was already angry and he’d barely done anything since arriving. A nasty feeling began forming in his stomach as he stared the girl down. She stared right back, and slowly her face began twisting into something fearsome. Her lips pulled back and bared her teeth in a vicious scowl. Her head tilted forward until she was glaring. Her entire body tensed, and she looked about ready to fling herself from the building. Erok began to sweat. If he tried to fly off and catch her, he’d burn her alive. He kept his breathing steady while his heart beat a cacophony inside his chest. “Why don’t you have a name?” he asked, far, far calmer than he felt. “My brother is dead,” said the girl, in that same raspy hiss. “He’s dead. Dead. Thanks to you. Thanks to all of you.” Erok’s grip on the brickwork tensed. His knuckles were white. “What do you mean?” “Four days ago,” she hissed snakelike at him. “You all fought. You destroyed all those city blocks.” Erok fought to keep his expression neutral as he nodded slowly. “Your brother died in the battle.” “Yeah, he did. He was crushed in a falling building.” “He couldn’t get away in time?” “He had to stay!” she snapped. “He had to, until all of you, you...criminal superhumans, he called you, until all of you were finished!” Erok arched his eyebrow in spite of himself. “What are you talking about?” She slipped a hand inside her pocket and pulled something out, holding it up for him to see. “This was his,” she hissed, and tears began to well up in her eyes. “It’s all I could get before his co-workers raided our home. Know what it is?” “Yeah,” he said. “Yeah, I know what that is.” She was holding a hero hunter’s radio headset, much like the ones he’d destroyed down below. This one looked slightly different, though. It had a longer wire that ran down far past the headset itself, ending in a small tube that seemed designed to slip on a finger. The tip had a tiny yellow button on it, something he hadn’t seen before. She saw what he was looking at, and examined it herself. Looking at it, something in her changed. Her mouth slowly crept upwards into a tiny, wolfish grin, which clashed with her eyes, still dribbling. “You know what that is?” she said. “It’s an emergency distress signal. It was only ever issued to team leaders and elite hunters. It’s designed to bring more hunters to you, or if you’re really lucky, a Guardsman.” She met his eyes, and some maniacal fire was flickering behind her drying tears. “What happens if I press it?” Erok held his breath as her finger hovered near the button. Neither of them moved, staring each other down. Eventually Erok sucked in a breath. “They’ll take us both,” he said. “Me to prison. You to...well, wherever they send refugee orphans. You are an orphan, right? No parents?” “My parents are dead,” she hissed coldly. “Years ago. My brother, he looked after me. He did, up until all of you killed him. Criminal superhumans.” Erok set his jaw as he stared into her face. She was too young, way too young for any of this. His insides writhed like they were full of snakes, but before he could speak she was suddenly screaming. “He was all I had!” she screamed. “He was just a guy trying to live, and to help me! He was my only friend! Now he’s gone, and it’s all because of you! He was right about all of you! Superhumans, playing chess with us normal people as the pieces! All we are is just your toys while you fight each other, and if we get broken you just throw us out!” She was sobbing even as she screamed, and she sat down on the ledge, staring out across the skyline. “You just throw us out,” she whispered meekly. Erok stared at her silently. She sobbed into her hands, the headset still clutched in them, but he barely even saw it as he watched the girl crying. Slowly but surely, he began edging towards her, taking his time with each step. He didn’t want to startle her with any sudden movements, so he walked slower than he could ever remember moving. It felt like he was walking on death row. “Stay back,” she hissed halfheartedly. “I’ll call them. I will. Put you in prison.” “No,” he whispered. “You won’t.” She looked up just as he reached her. Gently, he knelt down, but rather than move for the headset, he took hold of her arm and carefully pulled her to her feet. “Come on,” he said. “You don’t want to fall.” “Yes I do,” her voice cracked. “I don’t care. I want to go. I want to see him again. He was all I had...” “I know,” said Erok. “I am so sorry about him. If I could change that I would, but I can’t.” “Then let me go,” she wept. “Let me go. I want to go.” “You say that, but you don’t believe it,” said Erok. He let go of her arm warily, ready to grab it if she moved for the edge, but she stayed motionless, her eyes fixed on his face. “You know that as well as I do.” She tried to say something, but the words caught in her throat. She choked a bit and cast her eyes downward to the street. He could see her trembling, and put a hand on her shoulder. She looked back up at him, her mouth slightly open. Her skin was pale, her wide eyes bloodshot and still rimmed with tears. “If you press that button,” he said. “I won’t fight them. I’ll wait here with you, and when they come I won’t fight them. They’ll take us away, and hopefully they take care of you. But I’m not going to run, not while you’re up here. And if you really want to put me away, then I’ll go to prison. I promise. I’m sorry about your brother. Believe that.” Her body went slack as she stared at him. Her breathing seemed to slow down, and uncertainty crept into her eyes as he went on. “I do what I do to protect people like you. For what it’s worth, I think you’re right. It’s not fair for some people to have these powers while others don’t. It’s not fair for us to play god. It’s arrogant, and selfish, and I wish I didn’t have to do it. But I have seen people like you, the little people, killed by people like me, and I refuse to let that happen any more. I know what it’s like to be one of the little people. I used to be one. Now I’m a man that kills people to protect other people. I’m not proud of it, I hate it, and if it’s ever over, I will make sure I answer for what I’ve done. I’m a killer who justifies it under the wartime fallback, and all I have to show for it is these powers. I have these powers, but in exchange I had to sacrifice my old family and my old life. All I want is them back. But I can’t have them. My family is gone. It’s just me and my powers now, and I will use them.” Her eyes glistened as they stared at him. He barely noticed the stare, almost forgetting she was there entirely. It wasn’t until she made a slight movement, barely more than a twitch, that his eyes shot back to her face and bored into her with intense dedication. He put his other arm on her shoulder and leaned in close “I know it’s hard,” he said softly. “But remember, it’s not the end. You’re still here. You can still make something good out of a bad situation, and jumping off here is not it. Call the hunters on me if you must, but for God’s sake, don’t jump off here. It doesn’t matter who you are, how old you are, where you’re from, what you’re running from or where you’re going. Someone, somewhere, loves you and cares about you. It may be a friend you haven’t seen in years, it may be a relative you didn’t know you had, it might even just be a stranger in the street, but there is always someone. Even if it doesn’t seem like it. Even if nobody you know or met cares, which I guarantee that they do by the way, there’s a million people out there you’ve never met that don’t want you to hurt yourself. I know I don’t.” He put his arms around her and pulled her into an embrace. Her tears began to run down his shirt as he held her tight, and he felt her arms close around his back. “So please,” he whispered. “Climb back inside. Go down to the street. Call someone you know and go to them. Be happy. Live your life. Smile. You aren’t alone. No one is ever alone. It isn’t as bad as it seems, and you’re stronger than you think you are. You. Are. Not. Alone.” He looked down at the top of her head. She turned her face upwards to stare at him, her eyes brimming with more tears, as he smiled, genuinely smiled, for what felt like the first time in a long time, and whispered to her. “And you never will be.”
***
He walked down the darkened streets, deserted as they were, keeping an eye out for any sign of movement. Whatever had happened earlier, though, seemed to be over. The hero hunters had cleared the streets, and any remaining civilians were inside. There weren’t even any cars driving down the road, and he relished the quiet. He walked slowly, reflecting on the day, as the streetlamps burned above his head. His head down, he wandered up the street, heading vaguely for the hideout. Eventually he came to a halt on a street corner. “I know you’re there,” he said. “Come down.” Two feet landed on the pavement behind him. Erok turned to face the person following, unflinching. A familiar face loomed out of the shadows. “Hey,” said Jedi. “Hey.” Erok waited patiently, not interrupting. Jedi was struggling with words, and Erok was content to let him say what he needed to say. He wasn’t in the mood for a shouting match. “I saw what you did,” he said. “With the girl.” Erok nodded. “What of it?” Jedi cast his eyes downwards and studied the pavement. Erok followed his gaze. There was nothing interesting down there, just emotionless grey concrete. No answers were down there. Jedi lifted his gaze, and Erok did likewise. His usual intensity was gone. He felt listless, unhindered, and yet somehow subdued, and didn’t have it in him to argue with Jedi again. “I heard what you told her,” said Jedi slowly. “All of it?” “Every word. The parts about you. The parts about her. The part where no one is ever alone.” Erok nodded slowly. “I read something like that once.” A tiny smile spread across Jedi’s face. His eyes were wistful as he watched the other man closely. Erok felt pinned under the gaze. “It’s still true,” said Jedi. “No one’s alone. Not even us.” “I know that,” said Erok brusquely, but Jedi cut him off his a wave of his hand. “Erok, I mean it,” he said, moving forward. He placed a hand on Erok’s shoulder, which Erok glanced at awkwardly. “We’ll get you back to them,” Jedi whispered. “We will. Your family isn’t lost to you. We’ll get back. Our Family. And then you’ll have yours. I promise. Some day, we’ll make it happen.” Erok felt a twinge in his gut as he looked into Jedi’s face, desperately hoping the words he feared weren’t coming. He mentally crossed his fingers, silently begging Jedi not to say them, to leave them unsaid. “Erok,” whispered Jedi. “You’re not alone.” Something inside Erok snapped, and his eyes began to sting.
1/14/2012 5:44:07 AM (Updated: 1/14/2012 6:24:50 AM)
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